Mama

I am sure that anybody reading this blog knows that my mama is in the last stage of Alzheimers.  She has been in the nursing home almost 9 years now.  She cannot communicate at all and is mostly a fetal position.  I saw her today... it is heartbreaking and very hard to see her like this.  I have been praying for awhile now that God would take her on home.  I know that sounds wrong but I do not think it is.  She has absolutely no quality of life.  We are singing a song Sunday morning that we were rehearsing in choir tonight..."Bow the Knee"... it says "when you don't understand, the purpose of His plan, in the presence of the King, bow the knee.  Well, I sure do not understand His purpose in my mama being in the condition she is in but I do trust Him and I know that he loves mama even more than we do. I came home after seeing her and searched for a old video just so I could hear her voice and see her smile. I miss her smile and her laugh so much.

 If you feel like it is something you can do, would you please pray with me that God would take mama to heaven at any minute!  I would be most grateful... also pray for my sister Becky and me as we continue to go visit mama.

I know this isn't my normal type of blog post.. hope you all understand.

Much love,

Martha

A New Year and a look back at the old one

Well, here we are at the beginning of a brand new year - 2011.  Wow, how did that happen!  Time is going by so quickly these days.  It really is true that the older you get the quicker time goes by.  Since I have not updated this blog since September I guess you all know that I didn't too very well blogging last year.  We will see how this year goes - no promises. 

We had a wonderful Christmas with all of my children, grandchildren, and all of my sister's family at my house for Christmas Day.  Of course we missed my daddy.  It seemed harder the second year without him than the first.  I guess last year we were still in a fog having just lost him in September.  We miss mama too.  She is just so pitiful.  It gets harder and harder for Becky and I to see her in the shape she is in. We know that God is in control and that He loves her even more than we do and that there are many things in life that we just do not understand...this is certainly one of them.  We are praying for Him to take her to heaven just as soon as He sees fit.  We also still miss Bill's parents and other loved ones who used to be around our Christmas table but we rejoice knowing they are celebrating with Jesus and that one day we will be with Him and them!  The kids stayed for a few days after Christmas and we loved them being there.  After they left we had one day with an empty nest and then our dear friends Tommy, Carren, Parker and Ryan Quinn came in from GA.  They got there on Thursday, Dec 30 and left on Monday, Jan 3rd.  We also loved having them here.  We did a lot in a few days.  Welcomed the New Year, had Tommy lead in worship at Parkway which was amazing, and then we celebrated Tommy's 40th birthday Sunday night! He was a very young 25 when they came to Parkway in 1996.  We have enjoyed watching how God has grown him and used him over the years.  We just wish God would move them back to south MS!! So, our holidays were rich and full with family and friends and we are very grateful!

Bill is doing great - no sign of cancer at all.  He will have another ct scan the end of January so please pray with us that it will still show he is in complete remission.  He will start his first doses of maintenance chemo in March.  He will have four treatments, one each Monday.  This time last year we had no idea what 2010 had in store for us.  It is amazing to look back now and see how God went before us preparing us.  His provision for us since Bill was diagnosed has been amazing!  We are so very grateful for all of you who have lifted Bill, me and all of our family up in prayer many times.  God answered prayers and we were able to go through the last 9 months with His peace knowing that He is in perfect control no matter what.  Chemo and radiation treatments and all the diagnostic tests are very expensive.  One bag of Bill's chemo is $13,000.00 and he has had 18 of those so far.  I wish I could aptly explain how very much God has provided for us.. through insurance and through Dr. Rodriguez getting Bill in a program because one of his chemo drugs is a newer treatment for lymphoma.  It has been absolutely amazing and we can never thank Him enough! 

Many people make New Years Resolutions this time of year.  I never really have done that.  Oh sure, I always say I am going to eat healthier, lose weight, and exercise but I never have said those are my resolutions..just things to strive for.  And yes, those things are on my list this year too but for 2011 I want to be more mindful of what God wants me to do.  I want to spend more time studying His word.  I want to enjoy His creation - yes.. at the beach.. as often as possible!  I want to get my house decluttered and organized.  I never want my children to have to go through what Becky, Kevin, Bill and I did cleaning out mama and daddy's house.  My mama never threw anything away and while I am thankful for many things she saved there was A LOT she could have gotten rid of!  I want to enjoy every moment I have with my sweet husband and my wonderful children and grandchildren(when I say children that always includes my  son-in-laws - FYI) and the rest of our family.  I want to laugh lots while making more memories with good friends.  What a blessing our friends have been and are to us.. thank you God for answering my long ago prayer to give us good Christian friends!

Here's wishing you and yours a very happy 2011 and may we trust and obey our God like never before!

I am in a hotel room in Washington, DC.  Bill is here with the MS Bankers Assoc. Board of Directors and I get to come along and enjoy!  We got here Saturday afternoon and we fly out tomorrow at noon.  Having a great time and the weather is beautiful!  Been eating way too much delicious food but also done tons of walking!  Yesterday, Bill and I and two other couples who are banking friends of ours... well we met because of banking but now they are just good friends....went out to Arlington Cemetery which is one of my favorite places here.  One of the couples had never been before so we did the tour which Bill and I have been on several times before...we visited the Kennedy's graves, Robert E. Lee's home and saw the Changing of the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers.  That is something that you can see over and over again and still be awe struck everytime.  Once we finished the tour, my sweet husband and good friends accompanied me on the real reason I went out there this time, to find and visit the grave of my sweet friend Tammy Summers' husband, Sev.  Sev lost his life last August while serving our country on his second tour in Afghanistan.  Finding a gravesite at Arlington is not hard, you type the name in a computer and it prints out the section and number of the location, but getting there is a different story.  We walked and walked and walked... up and down rows and rows of graves of men and women who loved our country so much that they fought and gave their lives for it!  It was worth all that walking to find Sev's grave and honor his memory by visiting there and to take a picture for Tammy.  If you come to DC to visit, Arlington would be the #1 place I would suggest you visit. 

 

So, completely changing the subject, tomorrow is my 56th birthday.  I know that age is just a number, but that number sure is getting on up there!  It is very hard for me to believe that I am only 4 years away from turning 60, if the Lord allows me those years.  The thing is, I just do not feel old!  My body sometimes feels old...but not all the time...but ALL the time in my mind, I am young!   I guess that is a good thing!  I am so very blessed to be celebrating another birthday.  Life is short and we are not promised our next breath.  So, I want to live each day celebrating and enjoying my life... Praising God and thanking Him for all the JOY in my life!  It's not always easy to do.. there is much sadness.  Just this week my sweet friend Sheryl went to heaven at the age of 59.  My dear mama is still in a fetel position in a nursing home unable to communicate.  I lost my precious daddy just a little over a year ago and I miss him everyday!  There are many around us suffering with cancer... some little children...so it's not easy.. BUT...then ... there ... is JESUS and so there is JOY!!!  Joy watching my grandchildren play, joy being with my girls, joy having a wonderful husband who's cancer is in remission!!! Joy having a sister to share memories of my childhood, joy loving two nieces who are like daughters to me, joy having a generous, caring brother in law, joy having lots of loving extended family!  Joy having been blessed with amazing, wonderful, fun, kind, friends.... some that are close by and some that live away but are still close at heart!  So, dear friends.. I choose to celebrate the JOY and trust God to give me strength and comfort for the pain that must come along with living life!

 

About time for a new post!

Guess it's time for a new post. I have not done very well with my blogging lately, not promising I will do much better, but I will try. My last post was the first of July, so I will just catch you all up on what has been happening since then.  Sarah and Jeremy got moved to Simpson County and are doing great.  Sarah got the job teaching at Simpson Academy High School and starts tomorrow!  She will be teaching Chemistry 1 and 2 and A &P.  Please pray for her.. she is excited but also nervous.  Will will go to Mendenhall Kindergarten so he will ride with Jeremy every day, Macy will go with Sarah to the preschool at SCA, and Wesley will be staying home with his sweet new babysitter, Angie and her 3 year old son!!  Here again.. God has provided!!
 We spent July 2 - 6 at Orange Beach with all the kids, except for Tony. Had a great time and took some good picts.. will post some here.  We are so blessed to have access to a condo on the beach there and also a house in Destin! 
 Our BIG new of the month we got on July 13 - I am sure most of you have already heard..but BILL'S CANCER IS IN REMISSION!!!  We are so very thankful and we are giving God all the glory!!  Bill has two more rounds of chemo, 3 days next week and then 3 days the second week of September.  He will then have to have 6 weeks of radiation, 5 days a week....not looking forward to that.  Once that is done he will have maintenance chemo 4 days a month, every 6 months for 2 years and then we hope and pray this will all be behind us forever!!!!  We cannot begin to say how very much we appreciate all of your prayers, love and support. The peace God has given us is amazing and we know it's because of our family and friends praying. Tomorrow is our 36th wedding anniversary and we thank God that we can celebrate knowing that there is NO cancer in Bill's body now! 
 The last two weeks of July were spent with me directing a wedding, giving a wedding shower and taking a short trip back to the beach with my cousins and sister for our girls trip! And now.. here it is August!  And my goodness it is HOT!!! It scares me to death for kids to be practicing football in this heat.  Our heat index today was 115!!  Why would anybody want to put pads on kids and have them out in that heat?  I don't get it.. they could skip a practice or two!  The school year really needs to be moved back to start the day after Labor Day!!!
  Didn't finsh this post last night.... Just returned from a lovely dinner with my sweet husband, sister and brother in law celebrating our 36th wedding anniversary!!!  So hard to believe it's been that long.  The years really have flown by.  I am so very thankful that my life has been spent with the two most wonderful men I have ever known...I was blessed to be one's daughter and am blessed to be the other ones wife.  Bill and I married when I was 19 was I went straight from my daddy's arms into his.  Through all the ups and downs and joys and sorrows of life.. it has been and continues to be such a privilege to be his wife!!  Praying and asking God for many more healthy years together!!

Here are a few pics from the beach!!

Catching up

Guess it is way past time for a post.. .so hear goes.  Let' see.. my last post was when the virus had attacked while we had Will, Macy and Wesley and Sarah and Jeremy were on a short get away to the beach.  I was so sorry that they had to come back a day early but man I was sick!  Anyway, what you didn't know at that time was that while they were down south that week Jeremy had an interview at Mendenhall High School!  I tried really hard not to get up hopes up, but that really didn't work!  I did however pray that God would show them if this was His will for them.  Yes, I want them closer!  Yes, Mendenhall is where Sydney lives!! But more than anything in my children's lives I want them to be right where God wants them!  I am just glad that this particular time He agreed with me!!  Jeremy will be the offensive line coach at Mendenhall High School!  He will also be the golf coach, which he is quite excited about!  Of course once he was offered the job and he and Sarah prayed and discussed it and decided he would accept it, things went into fast motion.  God has gone before them every step of the way!  They were able to find a house to rent on a month to month basis that they could move into immediately.  A good friend of Jeremy's in Tupelo is going to rent their house there for the upcoming school year.  Toyota just announced they are going forward with their new plant in Tupelo so by next spring property values should be up and the house should sell with no problem!  Many of you know that since Wesley was born 14 months ago Sarah has not worked.  She loves being home and doesnt want to go back to hygiene.  She went the "alternate route" and got her teaching certificate last year and would really like to teach school so they she and Jeremy and one day the kids have the same vacations.   When Jeremy accepted the job he asked about a teaching position for Sarah in the Simpson Cty system.  So far that hasn't happened, but she does have an interview at Simpson Academy which is where Sydney is now the elementary principal!  Some people would say that things just have a way of working out...wish they knew that it is God who is working His pleasure!  So, today they loaded up the truck and tomorrow morning will leave Tupelo and head to Mendenhall.  They have mixed emotions!  God has blessed them with wonderful friends and a great church that they love in Tupelo.  Saying goodbye, even when you know you are on the right path is hard.  I know because Bill and I did the exact same thing 27 years ago when we left Shreveport and moved home.  We wanted to come back to Natchez and God had worked it out for us to be able to but we left some great friends and an amazing church family.  I shared with Sarah and Jeremy that I specifically prayed for God to provide good friends for us in Natchez and of course.. He did!  I wish I could say that we have kept up with all our friends in Shreveport all through the years.  But things like raising children, working, caring for parents, etc got in the way.  I am SO thankful that recently through the miracle of Facebook we are back in contact with some of those dear friends!  So, I know that Sarah and Jeremy will find the church He has for them to be involved in  and that He will provide good friends for them.  And of course, one of her best friends who also happens to be her sister, will be just down the road!!

Okay, you are up to date on Sarah and Jeremy!  Let me catch you up on Bill.  He is doing amazingly well!  Praise the Good Lord!!  If he didnt have to go get chemo 3 days a month or blood work twice a month you would really never know that he is sick!  He has finished 3 rounds of chemo and has 3 more to go.  This week he has repeated the scans that he had just after he was diagnosed.  We will get those results week after next and are praying NO cancer will show up!!  He does get tired on the chemo days and still has some indigestion but overall he feels good most of the time and we are SO thankful.
  Sydney and her family are well.  She started her new job June 1st and is getting things in order for school to start.  We are so proud of her!  Skyler will be in the 7th grade and is playing football which scares me to death!! If you know me at all you know that I LOVE football!  But, I had girls.. I never had to worry about one of them getting hurt playing fb!  I will be a nervous wreck watching Skyler!!  And I worry about the heat probably more than him getting hurt on the field... it is just too hot to play football in August!! Miss Mylie will be in the 1st grade.  We were over there last Sunday to see her be baptised.. oh what joy!!!  We are excited too that she is going to be a Page during Pilgrimage next Spring! We are honored and looking forward to it so much!
Sunny, Bud and baby Silas are also doing great!  Silas is 4 months old already!!  Time is just going way too fast these days!!  Sunny is going to have a hard time going back to work in August.  The good thing is that she gets to take Silas to school with her since they have a daycare for teachers children there!
We are headed to Orange Beach tomorrow afternoon even with the oil situation.  It is so very sad and I am not looking forward to seeing it.  But I am looking forward to being with Bill and the girls and their families(everybody except Tony who we will miss!!) for several days.  We will come back next Wednesday and I will go over and help Sarah unpack and get her house in order.
So, I know this is a long rambling post but I think I have you caught up.  I will post some pics from over the last few months!   Please continue to pray for Bill.  Also we just went through daddy's birthday and Father's day and we are coming up on the time when we found out he was sick last year.  We miss him so very much!  Mama is just here.. she weighs 90 lbs.  I am ready for God to take her to heaven to be with Him, daddy and all her loved ones.  Any time now would be fine with me.
 love you all and thank you for your love, concern and prayers for us!!

Help!!!

UPDATE....virus arrived hot and heavy Friday night 11pm... first Macy threw up.. and then around 1am, I started throwing up :(  so our weekend has definitely not gone according to plan...Sarah and Jeremy drove back to Natchez from beach yesterday and they all left for Tupelo this morning.  We missed Mylie's dance recital :( but had THE most wonderful news from her yesterday.. she prayed to ask Jesus in her heart :) :) :) - what wonderful news to make even a sick Mimi feel wonderful!!!  Thanks for all your prayers...seems God thought it would be best for us to go through this... wonder why???





okay.... so Sarah and Jeremy left Wed afternoon for a few days of togetherness and adult conversation and are having a great time! Bless their hearts I don't know any two that needed it more!! Well, NaeNae and I have been sharing babysitting duties with Will, Macy and Wesley and it has worked fine. Except.... I go to Nae's yesterday morning and she tells me that Del has been sick with a stomach virus all night and is still sick... now remember everybody... including Del had been at my house Sunday night for Wesley's bd party....so, I try not to freak out and she says he is staying hold up in his room away from kids. So... then Sunny calls me last night and she is not feeling good at all... stomach isssues....aches all over... typical virus feelings and over the course of today she has gone from bad to worse. I guess I should have said at the beginning that if ANYBODY will catch a virus it is Sunny Salters McGehee and me!!! oh and the Loy kids! Well, this morning when the kids awakened me at 6:15AM....I felt okay, then had a few stomach issues but still felt pretty good. Took the kids to NaeNae while I started packing up to take kids with Bill and I to Mendenhall tomorrow for Mylie's dance recital and then to meet Sarah and Jer on Sunday. So next, I ran to Sonic at lunch... small hamburger and onion rings, diet coke....hmmm not feeling so well after eating....chewed some tums, took some advil and layed down for awhile and felt well enought to deal with kids again... which I have done from 4pm until about 10 minutes ago when they went sleep...however... my stomach is quesy and I have that low back pain I get with a virus... SO.. all of that to ask ALL of you this.. PLEASE pray this virus away... I have got to be able to get to Mendenhall tomorrow, taking these 3 with me and then to Hattiesburg to meet their parents on Sunday morning and then home... I can be sick Sunday night.. but PLEASE pray that I dont get sick until then!!!! Also, pray that Will, Macy and Wesley dont get it at all but especially not until they get home to Tupelo!!! Thank you in advance!!!!

God has a plan!

Most anybody reading this already knows that a week ago yesterday our lives were forever changed.  My sweet, wonderful husband of almost 36 years, Bill, was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Follicular Lymphoma...cancer.  He is ONLY 54 years old and is the picture of good health.  Bill had an enlarged lymph node in his groin that we had been watching for several months.  He saw Dr. Flattman 3 weeks ago and since it had been there a while and not gone down, he thought it needed to come out.  So, on Monday, April 5, it was removed.  We anxiously waited for the pathology report to come back hoping and praying for those great words, it's benign.  Unfortunately, that is not what happened.   On Wednesday, April 7 at about 3:00pm the door to my office opened and Bill walked in.  Of course I knew immediately that it was bad news.  I put my head down on my desk and the tears began.  He said, "it's lymphoma" and his next words were exactly what I wanted to hear..BUT it's very treatable, low grade and slow growing!  Thank you God!!
And so, our "new normal" began.

Obviously I never did finish and publish the above post.  That was written on April 15 and today is May 15.  Not sure why but I just have not been able to come back here and finish writing about Bill's cancer.  It's been a little over a month now since his diagnoses.  He has had a bone marrow biopsy, ct scan, blood work several times. a pet scan, a port put in and his first round of chemo.  And .. he stills feels good... like nothing is wrong with him.  It is hard to rationalize that you are sick and have to take a strong drug that makes you feel bad(at least for a few days) when you feel SO good!  I think probably all of you reading this know that his cancer is Stage 2 for which we are very grateful!  The only places that showed up on the pet scan were his groin where the original lymph node was removed and a few, mildly, enlarged lymph nodes in his abdomen.  Dr. Rodriguez, Bill's oncologist, is a remarkable man and doctor.  He has been so very encouraging from the first visit.  He has put Bill on a regimen of chemo with a fairly new drug called Treanda.  Bill has the chemo two days in a row and on the third day get a drug called Rituxin which is a an antibody from what I understand.  The first round 3 weeks ago only included the chemo they will add the rituxin week after next during his second round.  He will have 6 rounds of this regimen, then have radiation, then a maintenance dose of chemo every 4 months for 2 years. And then we are praying he will be done!!! We have been told that his type of cancer is one that often comes back later...but we are praying it will NEVER do that!  The first round of chemo did not make Bill very sick and we are SO thankful.  He had a little nausea and some indigestion that medicine took care of.  The worst thing was 3 days afterward his heart began to skip beats and got quite bad for awhile.  Bill had felt his heart doing this about 4 years ago and Dr. Daly had him wear a heart monitor for a few days then.  He was having whatever PVC's are and Ed said it was nothing to worry about.  He has hardly felt it all over the last 4 years.  Anyway, we think the chemo is what triggered the bad episode. So the two doctors are talking about it before his next chemo.  The heart thing was bad that Friday night and gradually improved the next few days and for the last 2 weeks he had been feeling wonderful!  We Praise God!!

Bill will have blood drawn Monday and see Dr Rodriguez Tuesday around noon and then we are headed to Destin for the Ms Bankers Convention for the rest of the week.  We are excited that Bill feels good and we are still able to be there.  We always enjoy the convention and of course I find at least a few hours to sit on "my beach!"  So we are looking forward to that. Then on Sunday, May 23rd we will head back to reality.  His next round of chemo will begin on Monday, May 24th 

Things are good with the girls and their families.  We celebrated Mother's Day at Sunny's & Bud's church having baby dedication and then going out to eat.  Sydney, Tony, Skyler and Mylie came up too, which was wonderful.  Sarah and her family had planned to be there as well but Wesley got sick with strep throat and didn't need to be around Silas or Bill.  We missed them so much!! Baby dedication was great!  Of course out of all those babies, about 13, he was the most precious!!!

We all went to a MS Braves game the night before Mothers Day and had a wonderful time.  But we missed Sarah, Jeremy, Will, Macy and Wesley.  Skyler was so sweet.. he met a MS State football player and came and told me about his, he said "Mimi, I am going to go get his autograph for Will."  and he did!! Skyler turned 12 years old the end of March...how is that possible???  He is playing baseball and I finally got to get over there Thursday night to watch a game and also see Mylie play tee ball.  Still hoping it will work out for Poppa to go over to watch them play and for us to get to Tupelo to see Will play some coach pitch, but not sure it will be possible

Well... that is just really a catch you all up and let you know what is going on post.  I will write another post soon about my feelings and how I am doing with everything soon.  Let's just say I thought I was doing pretty well but my ugly old anxiety disease reared its ugly head Friday morning with a bad panic attack... more on that later.